actually was pretty successfull today in getting stuff done.. not finding a job (come on, we can't get too adventurous and on top of things) but i wrote christmas cards, and i did laundry, and called some people. i feel pretty good. most days since i've been home i just kind of play on the computer and fritter away the day... i still did that a lot, but it felt more productive.

some crazy pseudo-liberal, definitely geeky thing my dad sent me.

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator. Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a higher power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex. As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse." Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: Though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered, and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.

so, one of the girls that i met in austrailia sent me this (its a cheesy forward, but oh well.) and it kind of makes sense.. especially now when i keep changing places and have no dea where i really want to go, or what i really wnat to do and what it all really means... (i'm not sure i'm suppose to figure out any of that)... but oh well. i guess i'll just let things flow and i'll figure out what i need ot sometime, right?

>What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?
>What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
>What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?
>What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?
>What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?
>Some people live and some people die.
>But I want to tell you I love you and you are a true friend...
>That I will always be here for you when and if you need me...
>If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever.
>Would I be in yours?
>>You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next year, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.
>So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.
>I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.
>>Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

so... today kind of went for good to bad and then probably back to good again, but its weird, and i'm weird... etc.
it started off ok, i guess... i'm already for some reason emotional and confused, but today it came to fruition and i got mean and vindictive for no particular reason at all... well no real reason.

i had to work in base today becuase i had a phone interview at 330... all i did all day was glue little sheets of paper to big sheets of paper. it was pretty boring.

the interview went ok... it was with some random-ass recruitment agency, so i think it was for enterprise-rent-a-car or something... nothing that iw oudl actually do in my life, but it was a good experience to interview with someone etc...

at dinner i was trying to talkt o gloria about the thing and no one was lettign me speak and it finally just got to the point where i got angry... and i just slouched in my chair and really didn't want to be around anyone anymore...

i kind of took ryan and matts keys then and left... they were pissed that they couldn't drive there car and i was just pissed... i ended up crying abotu how they just get on my nerves and everyone gets on my nerves and i don't knwo why i'm picked on so much...

ryan was pretty smart about the whole thing... he explained to me kind of how what i do has kind of creted a situation that provokes the excessive sarcasm and meaner-type comments that have finally taken their toll... it kind of goes back to soemthing that i have always know, but never really confronted and i'm amazed and surprised that he was able to read me as well as he could... (man i'm glad no one really reads this but me...) i'm super-critical... i have no idea where it came from, but its always been there... with my parents, my sisters, and pretty m uch all of my friends... i don't mean for comments to come out that way, but when i give my opinion it comes out slightly more demanding than it does in my head.... maybe some peopel are more sensitive than i expect them to be, but maybe i just dont totally think abo0tu what i'm saying.... and its smoehting that i guess i'm goign to have to be mroe aware about... like my 'like' usage and unusual affinity for ellisses... oopss there they were again... ... ...

bakc on the positive side of things... i watched a really stupid movie and we had a snowball fight! cuase there was SNOW!!! yeah!

still out in "scouting paradise" ... its pretty darn cool in the off season, i hike and don't see 80 million crews, the aspens around miranda were amazing when they changed colors, baldy has snow on it right now... i have walls that aren't canvas, my car is parked in a "good spot", the bartenders at the james know what my usual drink is, ryan king and i watch surivivor together, i play dominos at mark anderson's house, i took carrie anderson trick-or-treating to keith galloways house... its a totally different experience... and one that i'm glad that i had (even if it took my parents almost disowning me...)

its finally getting chilly out here... we had nice weather till about last week and now it gets to the 20s at night and the 50s during the day. not freezing, but fall mountain weather, i guess. its funny about NE Nm... people picture desert, but its much more like colorado then that... so its pretty beautiful... wildlife and snowy peaks and everythign... pretty good stuff...

an update on the job search:

i guess its better than you twiddling your thumbs every day not doing anything. working here is more like taht; the peopel are a blast and i enjoy hangign out with them, but the job is not at all mentally stimulating and i feel as though my brain is shrinking in size becuase of it.

don't know baout the summer... 75% of me would love to be here.. the other 25% drives me to apply for job after worthless job that is "related to my degree" but if the rejections keep coming and my self-esteem continues to plumment i'll still be here in june. (not that there is anythgin wrong witht aht... i would love to continue to know the ranch better...)

i've been searching pretty much every industry... i applied for a job at backpacker which i'm still hoping to hear from, and then i check out national geographic pretty frequently cause i think it would be awesome... i alternate daily between being content out here working a job that doesn't stimulate my brain so much to totally craving a city adn all its city -liek amenities... ehh. i'lll keep going with the flow though. it would really worry till i start hating it i guess...

we end nov 21st... we've already strawed about 140 acres and hope to hit at least 200 before you leave (quick reference... all last summer the whole ranch only did about 270 acres... so we are strawing like mad! but we still have an unjust amount of fun)... i'll go home till dec 26tth adn then i'm back for kanik... already bought my ski pass for angelfire! pretty excited...

philosophy from doug meffley...

"Forward doesn't matter so long as you are going
up. and I can think of no better way to go up than working in the mountains...."

i am so phenomenally bored, it is indescribable. i can't sleep past about 730 because we have to be up every weekday at 7am and cimarron is the smallest town in the world. there is no tv in my home. i read the magazine i have. i don't feel like reading a book (i have finished 3 in hte past week!) and i really have NO interest in job searching... i have sent out a TON of applications and everything, but all i get are rejections and none of the jobs are even interesting. and by not interesting, i mean they are more boring then cimarron on a sunday at 845 am.

RANDOM friend in AFGHANISTAN!

and his exciting journal... and by that... he isn't fighting, he is working on cmputers.. and the closest to death they get is some smelly mice!


woods site

so i'm driving someone to ABQ tomorrow to fly and i'm really excited taht i'm goign to go to a bookstore and probably a STARBUCKS... yes, i understand that corporate america is taking over, but i haven't eaten anything but the dining hall in a week and a half... it will be nice to have a frappacino.

we are gettign really slack at work... you woudl think that having 5 days off would re-invigorate us and we would actually spread some straw without bitching excessively, but no such luck...

it got kind of bad today... we got up to the site at the normal time (9ish) and then sat around in the "hot tub" (a huge old water trough) till we saw dukeman come around the bend...

we decided that we would hide from matt for a bit... so we ran up the hill down the road from the site... but we did it all stealth-like... randa, gloria and i had to hide in the scrub oak for a bit and then cross the road w/o being seen... it was like being 5 again and hiding from the dishes....

we gave up from our little game after we realized taht matt wasn't lookign for us... oh well. didn't have to touch a bale till 10am. not bad.

so i finally found a job htat interests me.. too bad a bazillion other people are going to find it and i won't have a chance! it includes marketing, outdoor stuff and is just COOL! argh.

(and i'm not going to tell what it is.)

>>What have they got you guys doing? How is your schedule?
so they are keeping us kind of busy down here... we wake up at 715 for breakfast (at PTC... we are moving up in the world, kind of, we ahve choices of coffee creamers!) then we hit the road at 8 to drive to one of three sites... horse canyon, dean skyline, dan beard... all slightly steep but great views of baldy and hte spanish peaks and everythign... we usually work pretty hard till about noon... listen to good ol' 99.9 and 92.5 (which ever is playing van halen in the morning, more or less) then we lunch till one-ish... (we pack sandwhichs and snack-packs, etc.) we slacka bit more int he afternoon, but we usually average about 4 acres or so of straw and seed spreading... about 330-4 we drive back to the ranch, check mail, and shower. dinner at 6--they actaully serve some vegetarian type stuff, and since thre are so many less poeple its a bit more interesting and different... not always refried beans and burgers... then we bum till about 930 (bedtime for me.) the past couple of weeks ahven't been totally normal. there was a family fun-day whihc involved all the permanent staff at a bbq... we got the day off of work, and last weekend we went to a beerfest in denver... it was sweet. $30 and 120,000 sq. ft. of breweries in the denver convention center... ahh... we all stayed at ted peters (do you know him?) and got trashed. it was awesome. other than that its reall pretty relaxed. we watch a lot of movies (and continually quote the big lebowski, etc.)

>>What's up with things other than Fire rehab?
right now i don't have "things other than fire rehab"... i'm trying to figure out if i'm styaing for kanik (pretty sure that i am...) one of my firends asked if i wanted to move in with her in boston and work there, but i don't really think i want to ... i would jsut be temping and i would rather just stay in non-civiliazation till i actually find somethign i "want" to do. we have the elk hunt next week, so i think that i'm going to go tot he grand canyon... but i ahven't found anyone who "really wants to go with me... and i don't want to drive all the way on my own... i

>> Has anything prospect wise come around outside of the Philmont realm for you?
well, the boston thing, and thats about it... i'm actually better about applying for jobs now, but still not toatlly on par. i'm thinking about the peace corp and am pursuing an application there... (business-y stuff) and i scour websites pretty frequently... i just want to find something i'm going to like, right? dukeman and some others joke that i should be an ACR cause they dont do anything anyway, and by the time next summer comes around it will be "like i was here 3 years"... i told them i'm happy with RT if they will hire me... or ROCs... that sounds cool... who knows. i can't figure that far in advance... i'm afraid i'm not moving forward if i stay here? but i don't knwo... cause i like it here.

yet another silly link from gloria (the resident super vegetarian and enviornmentalist*... ) we have no lives here at philmont... what we do is spent either with straw or trying to keep our minds from thinking about more straw!

cows with guns

*but she is not a "class 5 vegan" --doesn't eat anything that casts a shadow

the ninja site

cool stuff

http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.shtml

strange lobster

notes on hte real world, from lauren keister:

but there's no room for me to grow, and i don't want to get stuck there in the desktop publishing quagmire of government-contracted mediocrity. so...that's that.

the things i get to look forward to!

so, i'm actually kind of worried here... i wonder if i'm regressing?

i was job searching today on the internet and then watched a movie ("almost famous") in the staff lounge (in my pjs, with a cup of coffee, out of boredom); it totally felt like freshman year at wash u. lee hall. sat. afternoon. procrastinating on homework. is this what it will be like if i stick around philmont for awhile? am i not growing up? and is this a bad thing?

in the thick of the work things here... we work pretty hard from about 9ish to about noon... then we eat a forever long lunch complete with joking and making fun of others... and (usually) we then work from about 1-330. or maybe earlier... it depends on how far we have to drive and what kind of mood we are in. i really like it though.

gloria showed me this funny website! yeah old school stuff! (don't pay attention to the bar at the top... and don't click on anything but the box with the mario thing.)

mario twins

i had my first day of work today... i think the fall shuld be pretty good...

we had breakfsat, packed our lunches and headed out to the work site (in horse canyon, part of the area that had 100% consumption, etc.) we talked abotu fire ecology for a while ... john celley told us about the ponil fire, pyric ecosystems, and philmont management... it was pretty interesting even though i had heard it before. it also took an hour out of our work.

we then learned HOW to do our job (ie spreading straw and raking and seeding) and covered an area of 1/4 of an acre... (took and hour)...

had lunch and then the rain thwarted the rest of our afternoon so i napped... i could ge tused to this, but i know it won't always be that cushy...

our goal fo rhte fall is 250 acres... so we arent' moving so quickly on that.

the people seem pretty cool though and we are watching simpsons like mad!

all my pictures from the summer (not enough i tell you).

philmont

more thoughts on the whole international travel and experience thing... from dave

In a general sense, although I don't think I'll fully realize how the trip has affected me for years, I know that it's opened my mind a bit. It's made me realize how unaware Americans are of the world surrounding them. We only come into contact with the rest of the world through the tv. But there are real people out there with different views on life and politics and culture, and that's great. As Americans, we have everything we need right here. We--right or not, I'm not sure--have a hard time seeing how other countries view our culture and lifestyle. While the trip hasn't vastly altered my beliefs or made me anti-American, it has shown me that there are different ways of thinking out there, and they need to be acknowledged. On a less serious level, I've found that Americans are very out of touch with history (theirs' and others') and geography, etc... Europeans seem to have a greater respect for their history and take time to learn about that of others. I almost expected them to know where Denver was, but before this trip, I could hardly pinpoint Madrid on a map.

HEY... the place i was all summer is the number one road trip... here you go. visit. we can do this!

1. THE “ENCHANTED CIRCLE” AND THE “SANTA FE TRAIL”
Here’s a first example; since all of New Mexico has fewer people than Phoenix, Arizona, most motoring routes are pleasantly uncrowded. Starting in Albuquerque (“Old Town,” Sandia Peak Tram, San Felipe Mission,) you pick up a self-drive car and head along a sparsely-trafficked State Highway 14 (“the Turquoise Trail”) past the gold-mining towns of Golden, Madrid and Cerrillos to Santa Fe (Old Plaza, Palace of the Governors, Sans Miguel Mission, adobe-style homes). Next day, you tour the Indian pueblos on U.S. 4/285, then head for Chimayo (Spanish weavers and woodcarvers) and Taos for overnight. You tour Taos (birthplace of southwestern art) next morning, then proceed along the “Enchanted Circle” in late afternoon by driving to little Red River, a gold-mining village of the 1860s, where you can stay for, say, two nights at one of six guest ranches nearby. Next, drive past the ghost town of Elizabethtown to Eagle Nest and Angel Fire, then double back to enjoy a 23-mile drive on “Scenic U.S. 64” through Cimarron Canyon State park and to the historic, well-preserved Santa Fe Trail town of Cimarron. Next day, tour “Old Cimarron,” then head south on State Highway 21 and due east on Highway 199 to Springer, and then south on Interstate 25 to the village of Wagon Mound. Continue to Watrous, detour to Fort Union, then return to the Interstate for 18 further miles to the Victorian town of Las Vegas (New Mexico). Next day, take Interstate 25 past the Pecos National Monument to Albuquerque, ending a week of awesome vistas and cultures.

positive affimations from friends:

"He's also doing the job search thing too without luck. Its not easy to find a job in the States right now, engineering jobs aren't easy to find, management jobs want experience, business jobs are the only ones around. Consulting jobs and other cushy jobs that WU prepares us for just don't exist anymore." ~joe sheehan

Ok, so my friend dave smalle has WAY too much time on his hands... (you know, not a very good job and lives wiht his parents!?!) but this means that there is a lot of ability to be unusefully creative... and he made this sweet cartoon.

homestar megamix

the big dilemma has been what to do... job search, fire rehab, crawl under a rock and hide? i picked everyones braind and tried to get them to make my decision for me, and i ended up having to really think for myself (proabbly harder than i used to think about some of my school work) about what I really wanted to do and where i really saw myself this fall...

how to feel better about not being in the real world... from gene.

tell my parents they needed to trust me...I told them they were showing a tremendous lack of faith that I would make the right choices after a year of screwing around. They just need to have some faith that you'll eventually come to the right conclusion, even if there are a few detours before you get there. I'd rather have taken an interesting route than to get there first.

and aunt joette:

I am a big believer in doing what youwant. Way too many people get trapped in positions that are in their field
and they don't like the work they stay because the pay and benefits become more important than their happiness.

can i only have "one night stands?" is there something about me that says... "i'm too scary to date... just find me when we are both drunk??" or i'm i crazy...

i know that we both wanted it.. but what was i thinking? i mean tehre really can't be anything when you start it off like that. argh.

i don't even really know why i try to job search... i'm really not intested... but i guess i have to face reality that i can't be a bum forever... why not???


interlude of horrible pick-up line from hughs email... i laughed slightly and peopel in the lounge looked at me funny,

I heard a really good pick-up line recently. Most of them are complete shit, like: "Is that a mirror in your picket, cause I can see myself in your pants", or, my personal favorite, "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?". However, I have now found a better one. It is not super cheesy, and in fact quite clever. Here it is:
Boy says: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Girl says: No
Boy says: Enough to break the ice. Hi my name is Hugh, nice to meet you.
See, not so bad, I bet all you girls want me now cause that was the greatest line you have ever heard.

hey there... thought i'd let you know that hardcore person that i am, i one-upped the ranger marathon the other day.... so tehre is this thing called the cons challenge that goes from the top of little costilla (which is in the valle vidal --the land above philmont that belongs to a national foresst that philmont contreacts the use of) to line camp (the absolute southernmost part.. it doesnt exist).. the whole thing is 75 miles and you have to carry a conservation tool...

because of timing and everythingn (we were suppose to leave early in the day so we could summit and then relax before we started) we cut off costilla, but we hiked from shuree ponds which is only about a mile south of tehre... then we hiked about 60 miles to abreu (the southern most camp that still has staff at it.) so it was longer than the ranger marathon but not quite cons. we carried 35 lbs which is the requirement for teh ranger marathon. and we did it in 19 hours 42 minutes (including a one hour nap and lunch in base camp).

it was pretty hard and my feet hurt a bit.

some crazy stuff happened to us too... i hiked with this girl kieran from california... she was pretty cool. but anyway, she is kind of paranoid about running into a mountain lion (she was stalked walking down the urracca mesa.) so basically all night (we started at 830pm so we hiked a lot in the night) she was thinking that they were around... so we talked loudly about the most inane things for the vast majority of the night to scare tehm away... at about 2 am were were watched by one hiking along the ponil road. so we sang to it... the 12 days of christmas and the ranger song... the only things we could remember the words to. at about 4 am we were delerious from lack of sleep and talking and hiking so we stopped to take a nap... we were at chandler canyon where peopel that work at dean cow keep there cars. we tried a couple of doors and someone had left there car unlocked so we slept inside of it for an hour. (they had a fleece blanket and everyhting!) it was awesome... we were totally refreshed after the nap that the rest of the day went pretty smoothly... we even stopped into base to eat lunch... a whole bumch of poeple we saw were really confused that we were there... they thought that we had given up--not that we were taking a break...

thats about the most of hte crazy stuff i have done... i'm having a blast and i'm meeting great people... its going to be too bad when it ends... i actually have no idea what i'm doing when my contract ends... i'm filling out info on job websites as i write this.

i've been really busy hiking and eveything... i have "days off" every 4 days or so, after i have left my crews... and i just hike more... so its pretty good and i'm in decent shape and everything... i've seen a lot fo the area, but i still have more places i want to see.

every once in ahwile the spirit moves me to job search... i will battle out the people for the computer and i get about a half hour solid on the internet.. i write stuff down, but i haven't sent any apps yet. i applied for a couple jobs out here to stick around here, but i don't know if i'll get the job... a lot of people applied and i don't know what i have that puts me ahead. (not much).

super funny website sent from an english friend... of course the english know how to make fun of americans.

dancing george

ok, so i spent a lot of the time when i was visiting my family the other week writing this phenomenal 'summing up' email about the amazing times i had in NZ and austrailia and by the time i left to move on to my summer 'job', i, welll, was satisfied and now, i have about 5 minutes of emial time every week so i can't really spend the quality time on it... plus i reckon you are all sick of my stories and my last email was way to long to be folllowed up... i really can't say mre than it changed what i think about americans, travel, and myself... it was an amazing experience and there is little that i can compare it too... i would go back tomorrow if i had the money and probably my family close by...

anyway...

i arrived back in the states to scary LAX on the 24th of may... after about 3 hours of sleep, 3 awful meals, and 3 long movies blocked by the big guy in front of me... but i made it to chicago later that afternnoon relatively intact and really enjoyed sethe fam and sleeping in my own bed again... i hung out and re-adjusted to america but hitting the mall (but not buying anything due to super lack of funds.) and eating CPK...

after that i headed off to my 5 year high school reunion which was quite interesting... people were mighty confused by the fact i was kind of "in tranist" between NZ/OZ and the summer job, but i had a blast and will even RSVP for teh ten year one...

threw off the plans when i got some super-bad food poisening from my cousins and was puking for about 4 hours straight... i'm trying not to hold it against them though... i might go visit again sometime.

i then drove out to the summer job at philmont scout ranch (yes, the boy scout ranch/camp) wiht katie owen via st. louis where i had a blast seeing washu friends (liz c, april, lauren brown, kelly root) and eating ted drewes... after that we drove straight to denver on the most boring road ever built... i mean, the most excitment i think we had all day was when we started getting radio reception of a pretty cool classic rock station... it was awful... awful i tell you...

when we got to denver we hung out with some more washu grads (rachel krakoff and dave smalle) then we went camping in lost creek wilderness outside denver... i finally arrived at "work" on the 13th of june and have been hiking pretty much since then... i had a training trip where i learned how to not get eaten by bears and tehn took out my first troop of hormone-filled teenage boys and taught them how not to get eaten by bears... it was pretty tough... i was ready to roll them around in squeeze-cheese and let them just enjoy so i diddn't have to deal with them anymore... but we survived and now i have the afternoon off before the next troop headsout into the back country tomorrow...

it should be a pretty chill job,... the poeple i have met so far are really cool, and from all over the states... the ratio of guys to girls is about 7:1 or something like that, so i have some good odds... and most of them are eagle scouts so that means that are pretty respectable fellas too... (and i'm talking about the STAFF. ie. MY AGE. not campers. tahts disturbing.)

so anyway, thats me in a nutshell for right now... i probably won't be able to send so many emails this summer, but i will try... i do have a mailing address and promise to be prompt with that... (i'm in the woods there isn't much to do but write and read... ) and the food is kind of crap, so i would appreicate anything you can do do save me... but i like mail... (hint hint)

here it is:

kristin piccirillo, ranger
philmont scout ranch
rr1, box 35
cimarron NM 87714


cool... well, love to read your updates and i hope to be able to send a non-mass email soon...

talk to you soon, kristin

so we went on this pretty crazy training trip through part of the southern part of philmont... it was pretty cool... there were 11 of us and we all bonded and had a good time. the people are pretty cool and very different from the people that i met in OZ and at washU and everything. they make fun of me like mad... i think i started it, but they have taken it to a whole new level. we theoretically learned all we need to know to tell our crews, but i still think it might be a crazy, confusing experience when it actually starts...

we'll see though, right?

so its been about a week since i arrived at philmont... its pretty sweet and i really enjoy the people and the place. the weather has been off and on and my feet don't necessarily like me so much... but it will get good.

i also have a crush, so we'll see how that goes.

this is mighty quick... so i'll think of somehting better later.

ok, so i have strange, possibly too-thought full friends and i had to include this, cause i didn't know how to respond, and i didn't want to delete it... hmm...

I hope your time in NZ has really been amazing, which it seems to have been based on the length, frequency, and intensity of your e-mails. Funny, but if you think in terms of waves, e-mails could be given properties which could be measured in Hz and so forth, couldn't they?